I don't really have anything to write tonight but seeing as I'm trying to make this writing a habit then i'll keep at it. All i know is that I'll fight for something if it's worth the fight and i normally wont take no for an answer. I mean that is why I'm out here right? To fight for what's right and for what i believe in. The only thing i don't wanna fight right now is sleep... so hard these days though
Monday, October 24, 2011
Late
So i write this as sleeping beauty sleeps away. She lays there like a beautiful angel so hurt by the world that when a guy like me comes along... i have to prove I'm not the wolf knocking on the door warning that I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll have my way with you. Though I'll never be viewed as prince charming, I'd like to think that i should have some fighting chance... who is the middle man between the big bad wolf and prince charming? is truth told in sober talks or in intoxicated outings? I fear that in the inebriated state of things... all could be over looked as nothing more than something that shouldn't have happened... I know i write this blog weird and its hard to make sense of this but is it not possible that i do seek more that a one time deal? YES i say YES! I did all my crazy shit when i was younger... I'm getting older... not old... so i know what i want and who i want. I also know it takes time to prove it but i wish i could do something that was much more obvious to pave the way. I already fear i fucked up. You'll read this and know that while you slept i wrote about the things that i couldn't properly put into words or that the actions done contradicted what i was actually able to say. I don't know if you even read these but when you do... you'll know its you.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Things come to an end
So lets just say this one little thing. Some things work out EXACTLY how you plan them. Without going into specific detail... Certain things have run their full course naturally and i should be 100% ok since i planned... or more just expected it to happen but here i am just a little bit bummed. I'll be fine come tomorrow cause my awesome friend and i are gonna hang out. I have no idea what we're doing but it'll be good company. And now to move on to todays thought.
I observed a couple today at the theater and i felt i just need to take away the dude's man card. What i don't get is the type of guy who in the one laying his head on the girl or cuddling up to the girl. Maybe it's just me but isn't that normally what the girl does? She lays her head on your shoulder and then you just lay your head on her head? Isn't it the girl who cuddles into the guy? Maybe I'm old school or just not as sensitive as the cuddly dudes or maybe I'm cold.
Anyways the eyelids are getting heavy and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. 7 days till the workshop.
I observed a couple today at the theater and i felt i just need to take away the dude's man card. What i don't get is the type of guy who in the one laying his head on the girl or cuddling up to the girl. Maybe it's just me but isn't that normally what the girl does? She lays her head on your shoulder and then you just lay your head on her head? Isn't it the girl who cuddles into the guy? Maybe I'm old school or just not as sensitive as the cuddly dudes or maybe I'm cold.
Anyways the eyelids are getting heavy and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. 7 days till the workshop.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Yet another twoferone
Nothing has happened these last two days... no great ideas and no progress in the job realm. I've watch more tv shows, movies, and gamed more than i care to admit.
My other thoughts have been about dropping someone who was trying to play games or was leading me on... who knows, and thinking positive thoughts about taking this apt manager workshop so that i can land a job and get free rent all while giving me all the time i need to write. I can't wait to move to my own place after this long time of having a room mate.
Everyone knows i love my space and it's safe to say that the next person i ever want to live with will be the person i want to spend my life with. Having a room mate past 30 disgust me but i understand why is has to happen but i don't want that happening with me.
All i can think of is that it'll happen soon and things will def. pick up from there.
My other thoughts have been about dropping someone who was trying to play games or was leading me on... who knows, and thinking positive thoughts about taking this apt manager workshop so that i can land a job and get free rent all while giving me all the time i need to write. I can't wait to move to my own place after this long time of having a room mate.
Everyone knows i love my space and it's safe to say that the next person i ever want to live with will be the person i want to spend my life with. Having a room mate past 30 disgust me but i understand why is has to happen but i don't want that happening with me.
All i can think of is that it'll happen soon and things will def. pick up from there.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
2 for 1 special
Whoops... So i missed a day. Big deal but way to break a habit I'm already trying to keep. To be honest it's totally excusable since i was being pretty proactive about getting a job. Now I've been actively searching for a while now but yesterday i decided that i needed to cover all my bases.
It all started with me jumping on a bus to Burbank and going into Labor Ready. I went ready to fill out paper work and ready to go to work if possible... which is wearing jeans and work boots. I talked to a guy there who was cool and really nice to me unlike the people who worked at the Labor Ready in Va. He told me the system was going through updates and that i need to call in next week so i can arrange a time to come in and fill out paper work and get started... NEXT WEEK? FML... so i wasted my time when i could have just called but chin up right? I'm gonna called thursday anyways and get a head start hopefully. The only appealing thing about this place is they pay you the day you work but it's crap pay and crap work but i gotta do what i gotta do.
So here i am wearing jeans and work boots and my hoodie cause when i left it was still a bit chilly and by the time the sun was out and it was warming up.... wonderful.... Instead of getting on a bus and going right back home i decided to treat myself to chippotle for lunch cause that stuff is so good but it's a pain at the same time cause the calorie intake is so freaking high... but i had to have it HAD TO! The best part is i decided to walk to it cause i thought it was close... wrong! lol. 1.5 miles later i had a chicken burrito the size of a small child while i thought of my next step of the day.
The plan was keep on keeping on. I was in downtown Burbank so why not make the best of it and keep searching for jobs. The dreaded phrase kept popping up after i asked if company "x" was hiring... "We're only accepting applications right now." Now i would thank them and quickly be on my way but in my head... "fuck...." I'm not about to waste my time with a company by filling out an application and hope that when they get to a hiring point that they actually call me... I'm in the market for a job RIGHT NOW not interview me 1 or 2 months after i apply. I need a place that need to fill a spot and they know I'm the right one for the job. Maybe I'm in the wrong mind set for this phrase but after a few hours out and my feet killing me it was time to head home.
Only a few block of walking and my dying feet would have relief but not before i stopped and picked up some local papers and some groceries. The minute i got home i made a call into my temp agency and sadly the STILL after 3 months have no work... "To be honest we only have medical jobs dealing with medical billing and coding... Call back on thursday". Wonderful... so i searched the papers i bought and found ONE job that i could actually do but it's sales and i arranged with the person that they can call me next week with some recruiting phone call. It's free traveling selling various stuff around the states. I guess there could be some good potential if i really gave it my all and honestly i need a job and it's paid training. Then a good look on craigslist.com and the caljobs website and go figure still nothing so it was time to watch some tv finally.
Clearly by this time it's getting dark outside so it's been nearly a full day of job searching by foot and by internet and it must have taken a lot out of me cause by 7pm - ish i was out cold on my bed. I had even had a rockstar with my KIX cereal for dinner. Was not in any mood to make dinner but i mean come on i should have been somewhat wired. So i got about 10 hours of sleep finally after the 4 hours max a night while i dealt with my ears as they were gauging up. they went from a size 2 gauge to a 1/2" gauge i think... i don't know what the actual size is cause my friend gave them to me but it hurt for the 4 days as they were getting up to the new size. All is well now and healed back up nicely.
So now we're back up to today in this 2 for 1 blog post. Today i found an ad about becoming an apartment manager and i wish i could say i called in right away but 4 hours later i was awake and ready to call. Now i'm registered to do this crash course on apartment management at the end of the month and they work with you to get you placed almost immediately. So i guess it's worth investing a litle bit of money if it means I'll soon be living rent free and making some money and i can do all this from my building while i write. Seems like a good gig and a chance to move outta the ghetto neighborhood i currently live in. Finally a place i can call my own. A place that looks like a grown up lives there and not a college student look that we have going on here. That even means I'll have curtains on windows not a table cloth pinned to the huge window that over looks the side of someones house. Yup so this year is ending in a few short months and hopefully I'll have things set up soon so that 2012 is the best last year of my life lol
It all started with me jumping on a bus to Burbank and going into Labor Ready. I went ready to fill out paper work and ready to go to work if possible... which is wearing jeans and work boots. I talked to a guy there who was cool and really nice to me unlike the people who worked at the Labor Ready in Va. He told me the system was going through updates and that i need to call in next week so i can arrange a time to come in and fill out paper work and get started... NEXT WEEK? FML... so i wasted my time when i could have just called but chin up right? I'm gonna called thursday anyways and get a head start hopefully. The only appealing thing about this place is they pay you the day you work but it's crap pay and crap work but i gotta do what i gotta do.
So here i am wearing jeans and work boots and my hoodie cause when i left it was still a bit chilly and by the time the sun was out and it was warming up.... wonderful.... Instead of getting on a bus and going right back home i decided to treat myself to chippotle for lunch cause that stuff is so good but it's a pain at the same time cause the calorie intake is so freaking high... but i had to have it HAD TO! The best part is i decided to walk to it cause i thought it was close... wrong! lol. 1.5 miles later i had a chicken burrito the size of a small child while i thought of my next step of the day.
The plan was keep on keeping on. I was in downtown Burbank so why not make the best of it and keep searching for jobs. The dreaded phrase kept popping up after i asked if company "x" was hiring... "We're only accepting applications right now." Now i would thank them and quickly be on my way but in my head... "fuck...." I'm not about to waste my time with a company by filling out an application and hope that when they get to a hiring point that they actually call me... I'm in the market for a job RIGHT NOW not interview me 1 or 2 months after i apply. I need a place that need to fill a spot and they know I'm the right one for the job. Maybe I'm in the wrong mind set for this phrase but after a few hours out and my feet killing me it was time to head home.
Only a few block of walking and my dying feet would have relief but not before i stopped and picked up some local papers and some groceries. The minute i got home i made a call into my temp agency and sadly the STILL after 3 months have no work... "To be honest we only have medical jobs dealing with medical billing and coding... Call back on thursday". Wonderful... so i searched the papers i bought and found ONE job that i could actually do but it's sales and i arranged with the person that they can call me next week with some recruiting phone call. It's free traveling selling various stuff around the states. I guess there could be some good potential if i really gave it my all and honestly i need a job and it's paid training. Then a good look on craigslist.com and the caljobs website and go figure still nothing so it was time to watch some tv finally.
Clearly by this time it's getting dark outside so it's been nearly a full day of job searching by foot and by internet and it must have taken a lot out of me cause by 7pm - ish i was out cold on my bed. I had even had a rockstar with my KIX cereal for dinner. Was not in any mood to make dinner but i mean come on i should have been somewhat wired. So i got about 10 hours of sleep finally after the 4 hours max a night while i dealt with my ears as they were gauging up. they went from a size 2 gauge to a 1/2" gauge i think... i don't know what the actual size is cause my friend gave them to me but it hurt for the 4 days as they were getting up to the new size. All is well now and healed back up nicely.
So now we're back up to today in this 2 for 1 blog post. Today i found an ad about becoming an apartment manager and i wish i could say i called in right away but 4 hours later i was awake and ready to call. Now i'm registered to do this crash course on apartment management at the end of the month and they work with you to get you placed almost immediately. So i guess it's worth investing a litle bit of money if it means I'll soon be living rent free and making some money and i can do all this from my building while i write. Seems like a good gig and a chance to move outta the ghetto neighborhood i currently live in. Finally a place i can call my own. A place that looks like a grown up lives there and not a college student look that we have going on here. That even means I'll have curtains on windows not a table cloth pinned to the huge window that over looks the side of someones house. Yup so this year is ending in a few short months and hopefully I'll have things set up soon so that 2012 is the best last year of my life lol
Monday, October 17, 2011
Day 2
So far so good. I actually remembered to write something here. No news is good news though. Still staying positive as i reach out further with my job searching. "The job or job searching"....
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Regeneration!
This is possibly 3rd attempt at blogging and this time it's vital for numerous reasons. A writer must write EVERYDAY and I've always had problems with that, so it's my hope that i use this to keep the gears moving. Another reason would be that with all the thoughts going through my head it would be nice to have a place to write them all down and since I'm not a fan of writing in a journal... a blog makes sense. Plus i can share and sharing is caring :) So lets kick this off with...
I've been revitalized! Without going into detail about the whole thing... I was in a dark place with my thoughts and no not the creepy ones for writing. I was just getting tired of this endless job searching and lack of any money that i can call my own. Thankfully unemployment is in place for me so the rent and bills get paid until i land something. And skip that crap about I'm using peoples tax money or whatever... I've been working since i was 16 and this was a last resort so if if it's anyone's tax money then it's my own. I have no intention on staying on it forever. Without it i would have had to move back to Va and live at my dad's and suffer all over again... thanks but no thanks.
I could bore you to tears about all the thoughts but this blog entry would go on and on so let's just say negative thoughts have a snowball effect. My snowball had reached the size of a mini cooper and was really starting to be a huge threat until someone stepped in it's way and pretty much blew it to smithereens. I'm glad i have this person in my life out here. (I'm never going to name names here btw...)
So now that I've been given a pep talk and told the exact same advice that i would normally tell other people I'm ready for this coming week. I've got a small list of things i need to take care of and I'll be doing fine soon enough. It's awesome having someone so similar to me out here who can say what needs to be said cause it's hard trying to pep yourself up when you feel so down and out.
That's all for today! I'll think of some sort of awesome sign off thing later...
I've been revitalized! Without going into detail about the whole thing... I was in a dark place with my thoughts and no not the creepy ones for writing. I was just getting tired of this endless job searching and lack of any money that i can call my own. Thankfully unemployment is in place for me so the rent and bills get paid until i land something. And skip that crap about I'm using peoples tax money or whatever... I've been working since i was 16 and this was a last resort so if if it's anyone's tax money then it's my own. I have no intention on staying on it forever. Without it i would have had to move back to Va and live at my dad's and suffer all over again... thanks but no thanks.
I could bore you to tears about all the thoughts but this blog entry would go on and on so let's just say negative thoughts have a snowball effect. My snowball had reached the size of a mini cooper and was really starting to be a huge threat until someone stepped in it's way and pretty much blew it to smithereens. I'm glad i have this person in my life out here. (I'm never going to name names here btw...)
So now that I've been given a pep talk and told the exact same advice that i would normally tell other people I'm ready for this coming week. I've got a small list of things i need to take care of and I'll be doing fine soon enough. It's awesome having someone so similar to me out here who can say what needs to be said cause it's hard trying to pep yourself up when you feel so down and out.
That's all for today! I'll think of some sort of awesome sign off thing later...
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